Wednesday, 10 February 2010

Mnemonic for a Ride - 07/02/10 (The VTTA Kent Reliability Trial 2010)

Bethersden north to Pluckley

Then west to Mundy Bois

To Egerton and the first check-in

Before a southwest turn

To Smarden Bell within four miles

At which a right is made

To battle on another two

Until the Maidstone Road

The A274 no less, at which

All riders make a left

To Biddenden a full two miles

By northern winds propelled

To reach the scary Woolpack Corner

Nigh a mile beyond

With right arm horizontal

To warn the speeding traffic

Negotiate a tricky right

For the hills to Benenden

Beneath the Hemsted Forest shade

With vineyards to the left

Until within four miles of this

A braking junction says

‘Benenden School’ is here within

(We educate princesses)

But for riders who are testing

Their reliability

Within one mile from this left turn

The second check-point looms

Then east through lovely Benenden

Where admirals rest eternal

To wheel-enamoured Rolvenden

With its motor car museum

Continue east to Tenterden

Down Rother’s swift descent

And up the painful gradient

To the Heronden domain

Through three or is it four stop lights

Until a bold right turn

To the Appledore descending road

And that eponymous haven

And then Brenzett and the bleak Rhee Wall

On the windy 259

Check point three is found therein

At the cold Old Romney turnoff

Heading east and north to Ivychurch

And the A two-nought and 70

Divert to Hamstreet

And the north through-road

A serious climb afoot

A mile or two of peace and calm

Then left to Bromley Green

And Shadoxhurst and the old King’s Head

At which a right is made

Through country lane for a mile or so

Of serious pothole hazard

Until the Bethersden to Ashford road

Makes tired riders smile

For a left turn here and another two miles

Will complete the whole ordeal

The fifty miles has been and gone

The canteen now awaits us

An ersatz coffee, a Kit-Kat bar – and

A merit certificate to reward us

Eric Bates